like a robot

“So, what’s your deal?” Butch drawled out while Jay lined up her sights to an empty can a good few yards away from her. She moved her finger from the safe position to the trigger of the gun, thinking about the question that he had proposed. What deal exactly? From what she could tell, she had no on-going deals (save for the indefinite truce she currently had with Butch, but he was involved in it so she could quickly rule that out) and she functioned as she always did. What ‘deal’ could he possibly be on about.

Ping!

The first BB hit its mark, the sharp noise of the can being shot and then falling reverberating through the tiny space. Jay cocked her gun as she lined up another shot, not looking back at the delinquent when returning his question with one of her own. “What deal?”

Jay could feel his gaze burning into the back of her head. “You know. That.” he obscurely gestured to all of the girl.

“I didn’t know you could be so specific,” she replied dryly, shooting another can down.

Butch scoffed, “I mean, when did you stop being a punk kid? You’re like a robot or somthin’ now, ya know?”

The BB gun that Jay clutched lowered just a bit as she turned to look at Butch. “I am the definition of a ‘punk-kid’,” she monotonously fired back at him. Butch chuckled.

She turned her attention back to the set of cans she was shooting at. Two were still standing in line when she cocked her gun once more and aimed the sight to one of them. Jay took her time, taking Butch’s comment into consideration. His clarification made a bit more sense to his question. She could understand how it may have been disorienting for him for her personality to have changed so drastically in such a short amount of time. 

Now that she thought about it, she was quite the punk. When they were younger and barely ten, Jay had a more obvious spunk to her; easily set off, snarky attitude, getting into fights with the early Tunnel Snakes, and often going home with a bloody nose and a cocky smirk on her face. It was almost always the trio of delinquents that Butch was leading that set her off. She remembered one time she had started a scrap with Wally after he had insulted Amata. They both were pretty beat up by the end of that one and had a stern talking to by plenty of the adults, even her father had a talking to. 

The switch in personality hadn't been much after that fight. Jay realised that the more she caused trouble, the more her father would get a berating. She had always been taught to stick to more logical solutions to problems; be diplomatic and talk through situations, but her impulsive temper got in the way of actually following through with that. So, she came up with a new solution; don’t get angry, don’t get sad and don’t get happy. Jay had repressed everything to the point where everything was just numb to her. This was the most logical solution－ it made sense. So far she figured that it worked wonders; it had been ages since her last scolding, her father hadn’t gotten roped into any of her issues, her grades were acceptable, Amata wasn’t getting in trouble on her behalf. Everyone was content. 

Everyone but Butch.

“Hey, you gonna shoot or what?”

Ping!

The can on the right hit the ground with a metallic clang. Jay cocked her gun and aimed for the last one. She decided to shift her thoughts, like how exhausting it was to repress her emotions. Her only respite at the end of the day would be shutting her apartment door behind her and collapsing on the floor. However, now with Butch prying on her spare time, she didn’t even have the chance for that. Now, all she had was the rusty BB gun and the targets ten feet from her that were getting smaller everyday. Well, that and Butch burning holes into the back of her head.

Ping!

Jay didn’t even notice Butch had been calling her name until she felt her shoulder being shaken. 

“Hey, Nosebleed, you still in there?” She smacked his hand away from her and put down her gun. She noticed that her hands were shaking.

“I was just thinking,” she muttered. “I’m done shooting for today.”

Jay took her BB gun in her hand and noticed them shaking a bit. That was normal, she reminded herself and shoved her weapon in a nearby chest. Her hands were still shaking.

“But you didn’t even answered me,” Butch pushed, stuffing his hands into his jacket pockets.

She figured his stubbornness wouldn’t allow him to drop the topic, so hers would just have to force him to. Jay closed the container with her gun in it with a little more force than usual. She locked up the padlock that secured the container and kicked the box behind a row of pipes that stood behind her targets. Her head then snapped to the delinquent behind her.

Always behind her.

“Why does it matter to you all of a sudden?” Her usual robotic tone shifted into something that almost sounded aggressive. 

It almost made Butch raise up his hands to try and disarm her. “I dunno, I guess I just noticed that it bothered me.”

Bother him? 

He looked like wanted to say something more but he coughed into his hand and shrugged it off. She figured the bully realized whatever he was going to say was stupid and decided to keep it to himself. That relieved her.

Jay huffed and grabbed her small sack that had been slung to the side next to the door leading out. She slapped the wall closest to her and looked to Butch. Time for both of us to buzz off.

Butch grunted and complied, stomping toward the exit and out in front of her.

When Jay exited and locked the room behind her, she found that Butch hadn’t waited for her as he normally did. The main room of the reactor level was completely empty, like it was before Butch came along. She looked back down and found her hands still shaking.

It bothered her.